The 22 things I undoubtedly learned in the year 2022. My journal has certainly evolved over the years. I became more intentional about my journaling practice in the latter part of 2021. In 2021 I documented the things I learned and shared them at the beginning of last year.
Many of the lessons I learned in 2021 resulted from feeling hurt and lost.
I have kept a journal for most of my life—many of my earlier journals were spaces for me to complain about myself. The things I failed to do or the way I should have responded when someone was unkind or said something inappropriate to me. I documented what did not go right for me to those who did not do right by me.
But with the new evolved practice of journaling, the self-reflection at the end of last year felt beautiful. I was relaxed and poised as I assessed myself and the year as it was about to pass. I love the idea of questioning my Life, especially at the end of the year, in the beginning, or before a birthday. Asking yourself critical questions changes everything and pushes you toward new possibilities. And it has gotten me here to share the 22 things I learned in 2022.
What was the year 2022 like for me?
2022 was another challenging year for me—it was filled with many more lessons. I had many thought-provoking and questioning moments with my journal. Unfortunately, the year did not unfold as I intended, and I found myself struggling, filled with sadness, and experiencing much more hurt than the year before. But for every sad moment, every hurt and struggle, I had much to be grateful for. At times I was shocked and in awe at some of my experiences.
I isolated myself socially for most of the year, and I felt an uncontrollable sense 0f anxiety at the few events I attended. But I pushed through the best I could and am still alive.
2021 is the year I began my journey of discovering myself, but 2022 reminded me of my strength. It reminded me that I was valuable and deserving. It gave me something I did not know I needed—Clarity. So now that I am clear on so much in my Life, I can become courageous enough to work toward acceptance. I will use the 22 things I learned in 2022 to guide me through the New Year with Grace and kindness.
Here are the 22 Things I learned in the year 2022
1. Life is actually long and simple—we are the ones who make it short and complicated with how we choose to live.
Most people waste their lives by focusing on the wrong things and paying attention to what does not or will not matter. When we live correctly, we reap the fruits of Life. We focus on what matters and who matters and express gratitude for every blessing.
2. Your peace is your responsibility.
Peace is a beautiful virtue that everyone wants, yet it is lacking in so many people’s lives. Do not give anyone the responsibility of bringing you peace. Your responsibility is to secure peace in your Life, have peace of mind, and live in peace with as many people as possible.
When you give anyone dominion over your peace, your mental, emotional, and spiritual health will always be at the mercy of others.
So many people are tortured—they lack peace. However, they would rather blame others instead of doing something about it.
3. Most people you call friends—are not your friends.
A lot of the people you call your friends are just acquaintances, and there is a significant difference between the two. It took me all my Life to figure this out, and it finally explained much.
Unfortunately, many are there for the good times, the surface stuff, et cetera. They are never there when you need them; most are unaware that you are struggling and need a friend.
4. People will make you the scapegoat and tear you down—never match their energy or change who you are.
Instead of being accountable and taking responsibility for themselves. People feel much better funneling their negative energy into blaming and criticizing someone else instead of confronting their role in the problems.
Accept responsibility for whatever part you play, if any. But do not match their energy and do not argue with them. Instead, continue to be the best of who you are.
5. It is okay to cry.
Crying is a normal human response—it allows you to release stress and emotional pain instead of holding difficult things inside. It is not a sign of weakness so cry if you want to.
6. Focus on what is within your control and let the rest go.
Always choose to focus on what is within your control. You can not control other people or their behaviors, but you can control how you respond. Or you can not control the outcome, but you can control the process. So hold on to what you have control over. Let the rest go.
7. Age does not equal maturity.
Maturity is not a matter of age. Instead, it is about how you respond to all situations, especially the difficult ones. How old a person is does not mean that they know better or will at least learn how to do better. Instead, people must intentionally work on maturing and growing in all areas.
8. Walk away from intentional Cruelty and unkindness, or you will lose so much of yourself that you will not have the courage or strength to walk away.
People can be cruel and Emotionally unkind—the sad thing is some people can go through their entire lives accepting this kind of treatment. However, It is a blatant failure to encourage, understand, be respectful, and be compassionate toward you. Ignoring, neglect, lack of empathy, withdrawing, rejection, and silent treatment will cause you to question everything about yourself. Until you eventually lose a lot of who you are.
9. Progress or resolution can not be found within or around unhealthy communication.
If poor communication can ruin relationships, then unhealthy communication is the death of relationships. For example, if a person’s understanding only goes as far as the hurt they have experienced, then they will always use every instance of conflict, trouble, and turmoil to make you feel like it is the result of you doing something wrong.
If it is always their mission to call out what you did wrong, their mind is not geared towards finding a resolution or ways to move on. Instead, it is geared toward finding conflict.
10. There is no expiration date on grief
Your pain may never go away, or when you think it has left, it will reappear when you are not in a place to deal with it. So be kind to yourself—give yourself grace and know it is okay to be sad.
11. Healing is messy.
True healing is messy—you must sit with complicated feelings of anger, rage, sadness, and confusion. But they will not go away until you fully feel and process all those feelings. Instead, they will stay inside and fester.
12. Understand that you are lovable even on your worst day—even when you have made a mistake. You are Loveable.
No one validates you but you. Accept that some people are incapable or unwilling to learn or provide you with the level of love you need. Love does not abandon you—especially in your difficult seasons. It is a buoy that guides you, lifts you, and shows you possibilities. Love is not disrespect, Cruelty, or unkindness.
When you overlook your needs or never ask for what you need because you do not want to be too much or burden that other person, you harm yourself and compromise so much that you are diminished. And you accept anything you are given.
13. Life is about accepting seasons.
The weather is never the same. It can rain storms one day with bright sunshine the next. Maybe you are in a season of rain and snow storms, but the weather always has to change.
And with each season comes lessons—take time to figure out what each brings.
14. Change is intentional.
You will change in four seasons—it will only happen when you intentionally choose to show up for yourself consistently.
Change happens when you have been hurt enough that you have no choice but to change. When you have seen enough, you become inspired to change. You have learned enough that you want to change. And you have received sufficient that you can change.
It may take a month, three months, or three years—focus on how you will feel when the changes you want have occurred. Please do not focus on the length of time it will take.
Remember, discipline will take you further than being motivated. Sacrifices are part of the journey. Trusting your gut and the process is necessary. Being persistent will keep you going even when things get complicated.
15. A lot of things that are normalized are unhealthy.
Not because it has been normalized, it has always been done, and they have always acted that way or do it that way does not mean it is healthy and not harming another person.
Often people will say that is how it was always done, or that is how mommy or daddy is, but that does not mean it is healthy and not harmful.
16. It is lonely to suffer in silence—it is not being strong or brave.
Often you keep things inside because you may not have people who make you feel safe enough to share something with. Or you have shared before, but instead of compassion and support, you received judgment and gossiped about.
Let people know what you are going through. Find a support group, lean on family, even if it is one family member who can support you objectively, phone a friend you can count on, and work on building healthy connections with supportive people.
17. Improving your mental health will change your Life.
Not being healthy mentally will impact all aspects of your Life, including your physical health, inner peace, relationships, work performance, and day-to-day existence.
It would be best if you made your mental health a priority. It will change your Life and the lives of those around you.
18. Your difficult and good days contribute to your growth so embrace them.
It is normal to have good and bad days. Bad days teach you things about yourself—it is a signal to check in with yourself. Embrace both problematic and good days. They both help you to grow.
19. Being there for everyone but having no one to be there for you is not fair.
It is easy to exist in isolation when you know or feels there is no one you can turn to for help or a listening ear. If you find yourself here and have no one to reach out to—start taking walks, find a support group, or get a Therapist.
20. Self-Love is complicated.
Loving yourself comes with facing the parts of yourself you hate or can not accept. But we have to lean into going inside to get to who we are right now in this moment. You have to go inside for confidence. So while self-love is complicated, stay at it and work through whatever comes up.
21. Do not be too hard on your past self. Forgive yourself.
Self-forgiveness is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
We find ways and excuses to forgive people’s destructive behaviors but Often do not show ourselves the same amount of grace.
Work on forgiving yourself for:
- Making excuses for the people who use your kindness and compassion as weapons against you.
- Looking for love in places you are not even respected.
- Shrinking yourself, fitting in a box, and dimming your light to please people who never question their cruel and hurtful behaviors.
- Not knowing your value and accepting the bare minimum.
- Having stayed way too long in an environment that slowly broke your soul.
- And for doubting your worth every time, someone judged or rejected you.
22. Accept people for who they are and their level of consciousness.
Most people will live their entire lives without ever taking the time to reflect and are unaware of the damage they have caused other human beings. As a result, they will never go deep to become better or treat others with decency and kindness.
You must love yourself enough to remove yourself from unhealthy situations.
Your Life is always teaching you something
Life is always trying to teach you something—take the time to listen.
Survival is ugly.
Staying in survival mode is an ugly trait—it can be damaging when you are an adult. Maybe we developed a survival strategy in a particular season of your Life, but it could end up hurting you and your relationships. It is not a long-term strategy.
Your excuses are Bull*hit.
Behind every excuse is fear—that is all it is fear.
Stop postponing living.
We will all die, so waiting to live is not an option. Having this idea, you will live your Life when someone changes and do the right thing. Or when you have money, lose a few pounds, get social status, or achieve something is a waste of a life.
Change is not easy.
Changing your Life, thinking, or anything else is not easy, but it will be worth it.
Never let anyone tell you or show you twice that they do not want or value you.
When someone loves and values you, you never wonder or worry. Walk away. If you stay, it will become something that happens over and over again. It depletes whatever little self-dignity and integrity you have.
You know it does not feel right—you know you deserve better but can not muster the strength to do something about it.
When someone says, this is just how I am—what are they telling you?
It is an excuse, and there is no sincere desire to change poor behaviors.
And we are finally at the end of 22 things I learned in 2022.
Happy New Year, Dahlings—I hope you enjoyed reading about the 22 things I learned in 2022. Comment below and share the lessons you learned in 2022.