How do I get in touch with myself is the question I asked myself repeatedly as I lay in bed under the covers. I felt lost — I didn’t know who I was or didn’t understand what was happening in my life. It was falling apart.

In those months of confusion, I felt lost, and I was in so much pain, and there are days I still am. On one tearful day, I realized living a life without discovering how to reconnect to my most authentic self would be one of continuous suffering. It was not something I  SHOULD do or MUST do — my very life depended on it.

I felt unsupported, unfulfilled, unworthy, and depressed. It was time to create a stronger bond with me and discover the connection I had lost. 

To offer love and support to the people who matter most to us, we need to start with ourselves. Love requires connection, and that connection begins with a deep connection with self.

Seven Ways to Reconnect to Yourself: 

Start by tuning in. 

To listen to ourselves can be challenging but oh, how rewarding it can be. No one will listen to you as deeply as you can listen and hear yourself. You start to become aware of things you were not aware of before — you begin to understand yourself on a deeper level. You begin to see the truths that you have chosen to to not see.

Develop a Spiritual Practice, Be Mindful and Be aware of your feelings.

Being unaware of your emotions can be challenging and infuriating. You may act out and will not understand why. Having a spiritual and mindful practice is the best way I’ve learned to connect to all the feelings I have pushed away or distracted myself from feeling. It is the most important thing I did for myself as I started to repair and reconnect with myself.

Become Emotionally Responsible. 

Taking responsibility for ourselves is a huge and necessary step for a beautiful life. When we take responsibility for ourselves, we tune in, we pause, we make choices, we are attentive, and we act from a place of deep awareness. We change how we act towards ourselves and others. 

Fill Your Cup First

Self-care is all the rage these days. It’s a multibillion-dollar industry, but do we understand proper self-care and how important it is? Self-care is fundamental to creating a beautiful relationship with ourselves. And it is non-negotiable when it comes to reconnecting to ourselves. Self-care is self-preserving. When we honor and love ourselves and show ourselves kindness — these acts only enhance our connectedness to self. We begin to depend solely on ourselves for our happiness and well-being, and then we can love and care for the people who matter the most to us. 

Do What Feels Good to You

Do not make self-care another thing to add to your to-do list — it should be practiced consciously and with intention. What do you like to do? What feels good when you’re doing it? Make it fun, laugh a lot and enjoy the moments. When we care for ourselves, we feel relaxed, rested, and more present in our everyday life. 

Stop Judging Yourself 

We are often kinder to strangers and our loved ones than we are to ourselves. Remember, the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself. Therefore you need to show up for yourself with kindness and compassion. Create a lasting love affair with yourself so that you can genuinely love others.  Be gentle and let go of the negative self-talk. Pause and permit yourself to let go of all the needless judgment. Become comfortable in your skin, and you’ll realize how magical you are. 

These five things are not small; they are BIG and scary. And your life will not change in an instant. No, you will have to dig deep, as with anything we do, it takes attention and mindfulness. It takes awareness to gain clarity into what’s lacking from our relationship with ourselves. To understand why we disconnected in the first place. 

I wish I could tell you all my pain has disappeared, and I feel fully connected to myself, but it is not like that. Sometimes it is as simple as choosing where I need to place my attention, while other times, it means refocusing and reminding me that I am a priority—I am important. 

I invite you to start your journey towards reconnecting with yourself—some days will be messy while others will be magical and beautiful.